May is Better Speech and Hearing Month. Ever wonder what a pediatric speech therapist notices when she is walking the streets of Manhattan? Children, their parents, caregivers, and sometimes, bad communication habits.
What did I see this week?
1. A pacifier in a toddler’s mouth while he was happily walking around the playground. He clearly wasn’t using the pacifier to sooth himself. How could he even try to speak to a potential playmate?
2. I turn around to find a nanny named Katie speaking to her two year old ward Johnny. She asks “Can Johnny throw the ball to Katie?” If Katie used pronouns (e.g., Can you throw the ball to me?), Johnny would learn to use pronouns.
3. A parent sitting on a park bench complaining on her cell phone about her Mother-in-Law, while her adorable 6ish month old girl tries to get her attention. You will never win with Mother-in-Law. Why not use that precious time to speak with your baby, teach her something new and strengthen your bond? Same goes for listening to your ipod, watching television and catching up on your emails. Try to turn off technology and tune into your child.
4. Eating at a sidewalk cafe, a young boy refuses to stay seated. His dad tells his son “You’re not going to get any lunch if you don’t sit down!” Is he really not going to feed his child? Empty threats are the worst, and everyone seated around you knows it too. Effective communication with your child is critical. Say what you mean and mean what you say!
5. I’m waiting for the light to change and a man jogs up with his ipod blaring. I am concerned for his hearing and safety. I can hear Jennifer Lopez singing Let’s Get Loud. She sings:
…You gotta prove it
You gotta mean what you say
Maybe he was playing his ipod loudly for the dad at the sidewalk cafe?
6. Have you ever seen a child too old to drink from a bottle using one? When a child continues to use a bottle (or sippy cup or pacifier) past age one, he may develop a tongue thrust / lisp. Step into any kindergarten classroom and you will quickly notice a number of children with tongue thrusts.
7. In the bookstore, turned rainy day escape destination, an ambitious mother reads an exciting book to her son. She has him so engaged in the story it’s impressive. He starts to tell her something about the story and the mom says “Wait! There’s more! Listen to the whole story Adam!” Poor Adam, he had something important to share. Another missed communication exchange.
8. Also in the children’s section, Thomas the Train is up on a high shelf. A little boy points toward Thomas. Grandma, well intentioned, involved, and well-versed in Thomas the Train lingo isn’t sure if he is pointing to Thomas, James or Percy?! Grandma points to Thomas and asks “Do you want this?” The boy shakes his head. “Do you want this?” as Grandma points to James. “NO!” says the boy. “Oh, you must want THIS!” Grandma then hands Percy to her grandson, who has been deprived of an opportunity to try to use the names of the trains and deprived of learning how to make a verbal request instead of just pointing. Next time grandma could try offering choices.
9. I hop into the elevator with a mom, her toddler and another woman. The woman speaks directly to the toddler and asks “What ‘s your name?” The mother responds “Joe.” The woman asks “What are you eating, Joe?” The mom replies “A cracker, right Joe?” Give your child an opportunity to participate in spontaneous conversation. Afterall, the woman didn’t want to talk to you, she wanted to talk to your cute baby.
Hopefully this information has improved your awareness about communicating with your child. If you feel you would like personalized strategies to maximize communication exchanges with your child, please email me and we can set up an appointment. I work with children and their families in their homes on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.